06 May 2006

Sassy and Spotless


What a handful of saucy days I’ve had! I’ve gotten my hands dirty. I’ve been down on my hands and knees. I’ve taken cold showers after breaking a sweat. Oh, it’s no secret and I am not ashamed to confess – this week, I’ve had numerous dates with the notorious Mr. Clean. Or M. Net, as his Quebecois users label him.

I’m congratulating myself with the last of the leftover beer from band practice. I think I deserve it. (Thanks for the subliminal beer idea, Ren!)

I’m not a fan of cleaning. I never have and I probably never will. On the other hand, I don’t like living in disorganization either. I’m not really successful at cleaning either. I’m one of those people who stack and pile. My usual type of cleaning involves organizing one pile of junk just to create another stack that is often moved elsewhere. Nothing ever gets solved, as far as cleaning goes. It just gets shuffled and moved.

This week, I put my (good) foot down. I declared I am cleaning, goddamnit! I was bent on getting this place reasonably organized and spotless. It came with perfect timing. I think I needed this time to fall into myself and think. Think about old times, think about the present, think about the future, think about a few dirty thoughts, and think about absolutely nothing. I needed to just be and think clearly. As well, it took my mind off my dental pain (which has now vanished!) and from hating most people.

Half the house was cleaned while listening to The Dead Milkmen. I’ve been hooked on them lately. I liked them in high school but I have recently rediscovered just how much I love this band. You can do a lot of positive cleaning and reminiscing about high school while listening to The Dead Milkmen. I thought about good times with our group of friends, silly moments, times where we stayed up all night and watched stupid movies. The Dead Milkmen remind me of Darren and Richard. Coincidentally, I found out that Rich and Tara had a baby boy this week and Darren and his fiancée are expecting as well. Funny to know, we’re all grown up now.

A way to spice up cleaning, listen to fabulously swanky music while wearing a sassy skirt and low cut shirt. This is how much I hate cleaning. I have to actually distract myself from the fact that I’m cleaning with feeling sexy. The old man of the inbred clan next door was watching me clean the windows this afternoon. No, I’m not flattered nor did I sex it up for him just for kicks. I should have, for my own amusement, but instead I chose to cut yet another finger and hit my head on the corner of the wall. Hot.

I have to say, the apartment looks smashing to me. Maybe not to some people but to me there is a significant improvement. The walls have all been washed thoroughly, the clutter has been de-cluttered, and there is certainly more open space to help get a sense of organization. I think it will feel better in the long run, emotionally speaking. It feels as though I can breathe. My mission of cleanliness is almost complete. I have only the bathroom to clean, the bedroom closet, and the box of displaced articles to go through. Some may call our place stagnant and stale but I disagree. It’s humble and it’s our home, like it or not. It certainly is not forever but I can sit back and feel grateful that I have a roof over my head and one without bugs at that! By the way, during my rendezvous avec M. Net I only saw two creepy crawly things but nothing serious.

This has been a tiresome week of cleaning but therapeutic. Though at one point it crossed my mind that the easiest way to clean this place would be to set it on fire, I’m glad that I have done this (cleaning, and not setting the place on fire) and am almost completed. Whew! A big ol’ sigh of relief!

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