03 June 2006

Moody Lil' Saturday Night

I'm feeling a little moody tonight. I'm chalking it up to having a little too much coffee in my system though. I have no real reason to feel moody when I think about it. My belly is full of food, we had great company today, and I have many things to be grateful for. I should not feel moody.

But I am.

A friend told me today that she had a dream that a girl she knows was attempting to flirt with my partner while he was on tour there. Yeah, it kinda irked me. It's a dream, not even my own. I shouldn't be irked at that. He's a good man and I know I am loved. I guess I'm just paranoid. It seems like every television or film focuses on temptations of the flesh. I trust my partner - I just can't seem to trust the intentions of others. You always here such band bullshit like "what happens on the road, stays on the road" - that kind of thing. I'm too fragile, perhaps. I guess I won't be there to see what happens and who flirts with him - and it drives me nuts. I hate to be so insecure for no good reason.

Today, I found a few write-ups online saying that his band are "cocky" and what have you. For some reason, I took personally and I'm not even in the band! Obviously, I know them beyond the stage persona and I know they are all great guys who are far from cocky. Everyone else in the audience who don't know them personally can think otherwise. I have to remember that. I guess I just want everyone else to see them as amazing and I know we all can't share the same opinions.

We were invited to go to a bon voyage cocktail party tonight. As you can see, I did not attend. We are really not the party types. When I was in high school and shortly after, I tried to be a party person but it never worked. I always wanted to remain in the shadows or hide out where I was least likely to be approached. I work better in small crowds and so does my partner. That wasn't the real reason why we didn't attend however. There is another couple attending who will be there for certain and there has been a little tension lately. Clearly, my partner did not wish to attend for that reason and me - well, I just loathe confrontation, haha. I think it's better off that we don't go. Not for our own comfort but for the sake of the hosts. I'm sure they would absolutely love to spend their party swimming in tension. I'm doing them a favour. Maybe I'm paranoid as well. I figure, either way we are going to be talked about. If we go, we will be talked about negatively afterwards. If we don't go, we will be talked about during. I'd rather not be there and have everything cattily snowball. Let them all enjoy themselves without the tension. I must admit, however, I do regret not seeing them off as I doubt we will hook up to say goodbye.

Otherwise, it's a quiet evening. Our company has left and my partner stepped out for a bit. I'm here. Craving sweets and feeling moody, nervous. Ack, too much coffee during our socializing!

I read online that Stephen Harper is going to hold a vote in parliament on the topic of gay marriage. I knew this would happen if he took control of the country. I don't see why they should open this topic up again when it was already made legal. I see no harm in gay couples getting married. It's a great step forward and a harmless one at that. Why vote only to have to potentially take a large step back? There are many more issues they should be concentrating on, other than the "tradition" of marriage. The way I see it, the ideas of traditions of marriage has been altered and changed. It has evolved - just like everything else in the world. The concept of marriage has been ruined a long time ago and NOT by gay couples. What makes the government vote valid when it comes to love anyway, especially when the people voting are most likely heterosexual and religious? I think they should just leave it alone. It's not hurting anyone. Next thing you know, he'll pull a South Dakota and ban abortions. And that thought rathers frightens me.

They should take a vote about Harper's hair. It doesn't move and looks like a helmet - that, I do not trust.


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