01 June 2006

Scraps and Plans

I wish, sometimes, that complete ideas could bloom inside my ol' noggin. I get scraps. Scraps of inspiration, usually designed to make me (and often others) laugh at my own stupidity. For example, getting an traditional and old school tattoo design. Instead of swallows on my chest, I would get owls. So when I'm at a bar or something, I can say to a stranger - "If you buy me a drink, I'll show you my hooters!"

I would never say that in the first place. Simply, the thought of it would make me laugh. Hoot, if you will.

As well, I come up with brilliant movie titles. I will not name any here because you never know - I don't want anyone making money off my own ridiculous scraps of thoughts. They're mine, dammit!

I have a sincere desire to create - to write, to draw, to make something my own, and to appeal to others with my words or design. At the end of the day, I feel I am lost with all my scraps of ideas. Perhaps, it is just a way to hold myself back. Who knows. What I do know is that I come up with these small morsels of ideas that could actually go somewhere and I don't know how to further it, to give birth to it. Any suggestions?!

I came up with another morsel. A website/blog idea. I cannot reveal this secret. Mwahaha! It could be amazing, if done well. Or it could just amuse me immensely, which would be a personal success nonetheless. I have to plan it out better but I completely fail at any sort of planning. If I told my sister this, I know what she would say. Make a list.

Shudders. Lists...they frighten and intimidate me. Unless, it's a grocery list because that I can do with ease.

My ideas lack direction and committment. I need to improve this.

When I write anything outside of a blog, I feel stunted and stagnent. I feel the only way I can write is while thinking about my past and in blog-like form. Have I lost my creativity or am I just better suited to memoir writing or commenting on daily life? If so, would it be considered a creative cop-out? Why do I need reassurance?

Is there some sort of plan for people who are plan-challenged?

If so, let me know.


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