23 January 2007

Obsessing About Health

There should be a website for wingnuts like me to make it easier to assume what their physical ailments are. For a good month and change, I've been wondering what the fark is wrong with me. I'm dizzy and lightheaded, I'm off balance, I'm hungry .... the list goes on. Sometimes it feels like I am on a plane, ascending or descending. It is hard for me to be in a crowded place with lots of busyness around me. I have to stay focused on what is straight ahead of me when I walk (narrowly avoiding stepping in dog crap on the sidewalk). My concentration is off. I don't know what the hell is wrong.

So, this is why there should be a website out there for people like me who obsess and analyze my health until I feel even more shitty. Instead of random Google searches for possible illnesses, there would be a page of symptoms that you check off. You know, kind of like one of those silly blog quizzes one does to see what kind of an evil CareBear they would be or what kind of famous serial killer they are. You just click on the symptoms list, submit your results, and outcomes all the possibilities of your health issue. And it would be in percentages, like you are 60 percent likely to have Lyme disease and 45 percent likely to have vestibular neuronitis, for example. Having your possible list of illnesses cuts your internet search down in half - it's all right in front of you! With handy links! And it's all available at one handy location! No longer do you have to stay up all night in front of your computer, searching webpage after webpage about what deathly disease you have. Just take a survey, click submit, and you have one page full of ailments to obsess over. All night long.

Truth be told, I tried my best to avoid abusing the search engines to figure out what's wrong. I've been fairly good. I gave in, though. It sounds like dizziness /lightheadedness is a common symptoms of a lot of diseases, minor and major ones.

I have to admit, I am a little nervous. I received a phone call from my doctor's office. They told me that the blood results are in and the doctor wants to see me. After the removal of my blood last week, I booked an appointment. I thought they would have made some sort of note about this upcoming appointment related to my blood work. I got a little worried - what if there is something worse that they wanted to urgently talk to me about, what if it's this, what if it's that.

I asked the receptionist, "Is this an urgent matter, like 'you're going to die' kind of urgency?"

She laughed it off and said she didn't think so. I know they aren't allowed to say anything to me anyhow. Clearly, there is something funky (I'm trying not to say "wrong") with me...if they want to speak to me about tests. Ugh. This means waiting for a week to go to the clinic. Which I can handle but I really want to know what's going on with this body of mine. I'm starting to think I should hold some sort of raffle to see who guesses my illness. So far, there are some bets on low iron. My money is on the hypoglycemia.

I guess I will know soon enough. I'm a little worried about starting to work again (tomorrow). Nothing beats feeling dizzy when a metro car is whizzing past you. Good times.

I must go. I have a steamy date with my newfound culinary skills, vegetable broth, and leeks. And I can't get that damned Hockey Night in Canada theme song out of my head....


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